The Story Behind 'Never Enough'
I wrote Never Enough after candid conversation with a friend about our past vices. I had spent 10 years as an alcoholic plagued by denial, and he had spent a number of years loaded with coke. Today we both are living strong in sobriety, but you can never forget what it's like to love something that destroys you.
We swapped various red flag moments including my two near death experiences, and his $100,000+ debt owed to a 'to rename nameless' drug dealer. "When I came down from cocaine, I would lay in bed trying to sleep. I hated this drug. I would tell myself I would never do it again, but his phone number would race through my mind, over and over. Non-stop. Until I called him." And "Never Enough" was conceived.
The story I tell in the song comes from the love affair I had with alcohol. It seduces you with it's beauty, tempting you to unleash yourself, and then you do whatever you want without holding back. In the midst of it you feel lost, but you're still hungry for it. Near the end you've felt the damaging effects of it in your life, but you can't stop. "Racing through my mind, wild enchantment darkening my whole life..." Every time I sing this song, this is where I see my friend batting at a phone number like bats flying around his head.
At the end of your affair you feel nothing, sucked of life and passion. "Sweet Jesus take me home I've lost my way. It's all I want, in the night, and all that tortures in my days."
The chorus emulates the cycle. "It's never enough, just give me something else to forget her." And I remember returning to my folly, because I never wanted to face the reality of my addiction. "Her" in the song refers to me, which is funny because I played at an open mic one night close to the election and the host talked about approving the gay marriage bill and immediately afterward I played my song. I realized they totally thought I was gay, and I always chuckle when I think of it. Especially since I was 8 months pregnant at the open mic. Alas ladies, I am not gay - and fellas I am betrothed, but I would not still be married if I was not sober today.
"Never Enough" depicts the human condition, the beast within us all that we must tame or keep in line. Those dirty little vices that can grow, and grow.
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